Beginnings and Endings
by EspoirDio
Summary: Takes place after the wedding in season 5. Slightly different though. Kind of a drabble or a oneshot.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've missed writing for them! I'm not sure what this is though. A drabble, I suppose, or a oneshot? I just felt like writing and this is what came out. Have some other small things in the works and then a bigger project. Let me know your thoughts if you feel like it. ;)**

Beginnings and Endings

"Miss Babcock?"

He hadn't expected to find her out here on the balcony. When she had slipped away earlier he had assumed that she had gone home while nobody was paying enough attention to ask her any unwanted questions. He had known, of course, that the day would be challenging for her which served to make him even more confused as to why she was still lingering here. He had only noticed her in passing, really, on his way to the restrooms where he'd been hoping to have a couple of minutes of peace himself.

C.C. hadn't moved since his arrival and although he wasn't certain if she simply hadn't heard him or was waiting for him to leave again, he took another step closer.

"Can you still remember their wedding?"

Her voice sounded soft and tired, lacking the usual steel or bite.

"Yes." He confirmed, taking another step so he came to stand behind her.

It was unnecessary to ask who she was referring to.

"Has it really been that long already?"

He paused and carefully considered her question.

"Master Brighton's nearly old enough to apply for Universities. But I'm not sure if that's what you're asking…"

"No," she shook her head without looking at him.

"I don't think there is an appropriate time, Miss Babcock. Weeks, months and years aren't the right tool to measure grief. But you know as well as I do that he still loves her even though he's married Miss Fine."

"I don't think I'll ever understand how that works."

The urge to tease her overcame him as suddenly as it always did but he couldn't shake the sound of her voice, the resignation in it. Perhaps his friend's therapist had been right when he had said that he used his humour not only to relate to other people but also to keep things light enough so he would never really have to get to know them.

"It's not easy. Mr Sheffield felt guilty very often."

"And yet…" she sighed and pensively chewed her lip, "I suppose it's impossible to understand when you've never formed any such attachments yourself."

"You haven't? Not even with him?"

He tried keeping his tone light and conversational instead of curious.

"Are you asking me if I loved him?"

Restlessness made his stomach churn at the mention of the word alone. They were balancing on a knife's edge without her knowing it.

Did he want to hear it? Did he really want to find out the truth?

He had always prepared himself for the worst but he wondered now if their relationship – complicated and whatever else it might be – could withstand it. Would the pieces fall apart and then neatly come together again? Or would they create a grotesque mosaic instead?

"Yes," he finally replied and his eyes dropped down to her neckline and clung on to the piece of jewellery that adorned it as if he was clutching a rail.

She sucked in another slither of air before releasing it once more.

"I'm not sure. Perhaps I did…perhaps it was the idea of him. When he kissed me…that time in the library when you saw us? That felt great. He felt great…different…It was as if Sara was back…"

She stopped and laughed softly, nervously.

"I suppose that sounds crazy. But it was as if between the two of us we were bringing her back…or maybe we just got rid of the emptiness…of that shitty darkness that seemed to hang over the house. And I got used to that, refused to be without it. I wanted… _something_. You know me," her chuckle came forced and strained this time, "I'm not very good at identifying my feelings…but there was suddenly a desire in me that I only noticed when it wasn't being fulfilled anymore. If that's love then, yes, I suppose I loved him."

"Is that why you're out here?" he probed carefully and held his breath when she turned to look at him.

But her cheeks were dry and her eyes focused, if also he could find the same tiredness he had detected in her voice in them.

"No…" she replied and the corner of her mouth got tugged upwards in a small, sad smile. "I'm here because I needed a moment for myself to come to a decision."

"And have you?" he asked, making sure to hold the eye contact as if the slightest variation could cause an irreparable break to this rare moment of perfect, direct honesty.

"Yes. I have accepted now that with Sara gone I'm not needed at the house like you are. So I am going to wait until Maxwell returns from his honeymoon and then I will hand in my resignation."

"Because of him?" Niles frowned, gripping on to her hands as if that would prevent her from walking out of his life.

"Not entirely, no." She squeezed his in return. "There's a lot I can live with but feeling unnecessary or without purpose isn't one of them. I don't have much else in life, Niles, so I have to go looking for at least that."

She started to release him, started brushing past him and although he knew that it would still be weeks before she left completely, it was as if she was already beginning to fade.

And without her in his life what did he have? No matter how infuriating their relationship had been over the last decades, he had never expected her not to be there. So where did that leave him?

"Miss Babcock?"

She turned just before reaching the balcony doors.

"Would you like to go for a drink before you return home?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for your kind comments. I guess I've sort of continued this? lol I'm not planning this...just writing what I feel like so I hope it's ok considering. ;) Let me know!**

He hadn't expected her to accept his invitation but then again almost everything about that night had come as a surprise. His brain was so busy processing it all that he didn't have the time to consider the consequences or implications of their behaviour. Or perhaps there was a part of him that knew that the moment could easily be destroyed if inspected more closely.

But as it was, they both left the balcony together, abandoned the reception and eventually found themselves in a bistro around the corner. The small space was almost deserted due to the lateness of the hour and Niles had to suppress a grin when he caught their reflection in the window. Tuxes and gowns didn't seem the appropriate attire for this particular place but looking around he came to the conclusion that he never would've imagined her setting foot into a place like this either way.

Unlike him, however, C.C. didn't seem to have any qualms about the situation. She had taken a seat on one of the tiny bar stools and was busy inspecting the menu. He could tell by the way her brow furrowed that she didn't like the selection. Yet when the waitress came over to take their order, she somehow managed to put on an almost believable smile.

"I'd like to try your cheese platter and…" her eyes slipped to the menu once more, "we'll share a bottle of your house wine."

He wasn't given any say in it but perhaps that was for the best seeing as he was still so dazed.

"Where will you go?" he finally asked.

His eyes were roaming the familiar features of her face for answers as if he could detect the clues he had previously missed by focusing hard enough.

"I don't know," she replied honestly, her gaze dropping down to the little candle that flickered between them on the table.

"You were saying earlier that you were trying to make this decision. Perhaps it was just the wedding…perhaps you should think about it some more."

"Would that make you feel better?" she asked, but the accusation he felt didn't really exist in her voice.

"Yes," he admitted, determined to keep speaking the truth or half the truth at least, "I'd feel better knowing you had carefully considered how this could affect the whole family."

Her fingertip danced over the top of the flame, throwing a shadow across the table that found itself in her face as well.

"I have, Niles," more determination this time, "I've considered myself and them and us. All of it."

His head shot imperceptibly higher at that last revelation and he was almost glad for the interruption the arrival of the waitress caused who set their meal down between them.

He busied himself pouring the wine, hoping that she would elaborate but C.C. seemed to have become fascinated by the cheese instead.

"Freshly imported every day, my ass," he heard her mutter, "imported from where? The local Costco?"

He chuckled amused and gently scooted one glass towards her. "Shall we take the plunge together?"

"I'd say it's about time." C.C. replied, the old glint returning to her eyes, and lifted her wine up in a toast. "To us and our evening."

Her statement send another wave of shock through him so that he was struggling to find enough breath to even echo the sentiment. At some point in his life, he might've started to believe he was being set up for a prank right about now, but there was something about the way she'd been acting the whole night that told him otherwise. The last concerns were washed away with a mouthful of wine that nonetheless left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

"Mr Sheffield has always needed you. I know he's never been good at showing his appreciation but we both know that the best decisions for the business were made by you."

"And some of the worst," she shrugged, setting her glass aside and daring to pop a piece of cheese into her mouth instead.

"We've all got to start somewhere and you've improved since then."

"God, Niles! Your compliments are getting a little bit sickening. Just act like yourself, would you?"

The frown split his forehead and the words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. "I will if you will!"

But C.C. only chuckled while the melancholy crept back across her face. "I suppose that's fair enough."

"No, don't do that!" Impatience was seeping into his voice now, making his words harder. "Don't just…take it. That's not you. I don't know what they've done with you at that place but-"

"It's got nothing to do with that!" She interrupted him; apparently he had finally succeeded in igniting her anger. "I've just come to this decision and I was hoping you of all people would understand and be supportive. Maxwell might appreciate me, yes, but I am not going to spend another decade waiting for him to show it, too. Besides, everything in that house is changing and I'm done living without a purpose, Niles. I mean it. They found a replacement for me when I was gone, I'm sure they can do it again."

"But what about me?" his fingers inched across the table to wrap around hers. "You know there couldn't be a replacement suitable enough…"

"That's not what I've heard."

She said it gently but embarrassment rushed through his body almost instantly nonetheless and coloured his face a deep shade of red. He had hoped that she would never find out about it.

"Miss Babcock, I…"

She silenced him by brushing her finger against his. "You don't need to justify yourself. It's none of my business."

She used her free hand to lift the glass of wine to her lips. It was empty within seconds.

"Now would you mind driving me home?"

Reluctantly he fished out his wallet, too distract to notice that he was placing too many bills on the table. Instead his mind was busy wondering when this evening had taken such a spectacular turn for the worse.


	3. Chapter 3

It was quiet in the car, too quiet.

Silence had never come naturally to them. It was as if they had always needed to fill the air between them with something; preferably something light and meaningless. A provocation here, a couple of insults there, exhilarating, of course, but consequently designed to stop any intimacy before it could develop. But this silence was different because it wasn't filled with any promises, it wasn't even comradely.

Niles didn't know how they had ended up on that particular topic but he could feel that the mood had shifted since then. If only he could figure out a way to get back in before the walls closed up around her. If she was determined to quit this could be the last evening they had solely to themselves and he'd be damned if he let it go to waste like that.

"Miss Babcock," he began, keeping his eyes on the road, "I know you said it's none of your business, but I nonetheless feel the need to explain myself."

Nothing. Not even a sound of contempt.

He glanced towards her but she was stubbornly staring outside, the streetlights dancing across her face.

Outside the buildings slipped past and he mentally started counting down the blocks to her penthouse. There wasn't much time left.

"I won't deny that there was something about that woman that reminded me of you. She insulted me, she pranked me but…it still wasn't the same."

"Obviously…" C.C. commented and the sarcasm was as welcome as it was irritating.

"Yes, there was one difference!" he continued. "She wanted me and she wasn't too concerned to hide it either."

Silent punishment again.

And now he was completely out of time. Empty spaces everywhere in front of her building where it was usually a pain to find even one.

"Thank you for driving me."

She could barely bring herself to make eye contact.

"C.C.," his hands found hers again, "I promise you that's all it was."

"You were horny."

Disdain edged itself into the corners of her mouth but he didn't mind her judgement. This was still better than what she had convinced herself of.

"Yes, I needed company," he agreed, "and she offered…so I accepted…"

The tension arose in her fingers, travelled the length of her arms and gnawed itself into her neck. He felt it all and soothingly caressed the back of her hand.

"I was trying to feel less lonely…never to replace you. It was just something that I had to do…"

She nodded slowly as if she was carefully considering his words, then eventually withdrew her hands.

"In that case I'm sure you'll understand that this is something _I_ have to do."

The hope he had felt welling up in his chest evaporated so quickly that the disappointment materialised itself in an almost physical pain. His whole life was starting to drift out of his grasp again until it felt as if he was watching himself, watching C.C. unbuckle her belt. Just another second or two before she would be gone, slamming the car door shut behind her.

Her touch came so unexpected then that he flinched but she didn't seem to mind.

Her fingertips drew a path down his jawline in an intimate gesture that encompassed all the moments that made up their whole history. A silence that conveyed everything words had failed to before.

But how quickly it passed…how quickly the door opened and the cold wind blew into his face. How quickly everything was far from alright again.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for the comments :) This is such a tiny little thing but it occurred to me that I seem to be writing this in scenes and...this is all this particular scene really needed so lol**

He was in the office when C.C. decided to hand in her resignation and she did so without preamble, handing over the document she must've had drawn up in the past two weeks.

It all seemed to happen so slowly that Niles could watch the smile slip off Maxwell's freshly tanned face.

"What do you mean you're resigning?" he asked, a frown growing on his face. "You can't just resign!"

"I am not _just_ doing it, Maxwell," C.C. contradicted firmly, "if you would've taken the time to read the letter, you'd have noticed that I've agreed to a transitional period in which you can find a replacement."

"Well, I…I don't accept that! I don't see why you have to make things so complicated now."

Niles' mask of neutrality slipped for a second as he winced. But unaware of the downward spiral he had begun, Maxwell continued.

"I've just returned from my honeymoon, for God's sake, and we're late setting up the next season. Surely you can see…"

"Frankly, Maxwell, I don't care!" C.C. cut him off sharply.

She had got up from her seat on the sofa and was now towering in front of the desk.

Niles felt exhilarated watching her and would've been able to enjoy it more, had it not come at the price of her leaving.

"You chose to get married, you chose to book a vacation at the busiest time of year and you run the business, as you're always so eager to point out. I'm done wiping your ass! You've got two choices now: either you grow up and get a handle on things or you find yourself another idiot willing to do all the shitty little things I used to do!"

She breezed out so quickly that they only realised she had left when the door slammed shut behind her and it was that sound that seemed to rattle him awake as well.


	5. Chapter 5

"If Maxwell has sent you to talk me out of this, I'm not interested." She said to him before he'd even had the chance to make his presence known.

He grimaced in sad amusement and continued watching her for a while. She had been busy all day rifling through her files and the few belongings she kept at the mansion, most of them business contracts that could be of use to her in the future but also some personal memorabilia that she obviously couldn't bear to leave behind. Sara's smile flashed up at him from one of the picture frames and then quickly disappeared in one of the boxes.

"Mr Sheffield has made sure that most of his business is taking place outside the office today." He informed her gently, remaining at the door and away from the sea of paperwork in the middle of the room.

She chuckled bitterly and nodded to herself.

"Childish…and a coward. I'm beginning to understand less and less what I ever saw in him."

"Don't sell yourself short, Babs," he remarked, "you've always had terrible taste in men."

He had hoped to make her laugh at the very least or to tickle another snarky comment out of her at the very best. But instead she fixed him with a look he couldn't quite decipher, shrugged and said: "Evidently."

He didn't know what was worse, the fact that they had briefly returned to familiar territory which brought with it its own limitations, or the fact that she chose to retreat behind a cold wall at the slightest indication that they might broach the subject that had caused their situation to deteriorate in the first place.

"I was just wondering if you might need a hand." He explained, wishing more than anything that they could go back to that night in which they had managed to be so honest with each other. "I'm sure that more than a decade of loyalty to one business must come with a lot of documents to filter through."

"There's nothing juicy in there in case that's what you're hoping for."

"C.C.," he interrupted her, stepping deeper into the room now, "I just want to help you. You deserve a second chance somewhere else if that's what you choose."

Since the scene at the office he had realised that the last thing he wanted to do was come across as so ungrateful as Maxwell Sheffield had been. She was breaking his heart but it wasn't her fault that he'd never dared to make a move. And if they had to part ways, he wanted to make sure that they did it amicably at the very least.

C.C. only hummed and continued to ignore him but eventually pushed one of the boxes in his direction.

Sighing and wearing a smile he sank down next to her and grabbed one of the thick folders as well.

"Take anything marked "finance" that's been signed by me and put it into the box." She told him without looking at him and he instantly got to work.

The longer they did the more relaxed she grew. The tension left her shoulders and the heavy line that had indented her forehead disappeared.

"We'll be done before he comes back." He promised her and earned the first smile of the day.

"That's good news." She brushed her hair behind her ear and studied him. "I'll be heading to Chicago next. I know you were wondering."

"I was, thank you."

He was just about to glance at her when something in the last remaining box caught his attention.

"I think you'll want to keep this, too."

He reached in and pulled out a child's drawing that bore her initials. C.C. took it from him without comment, her hand brushing up against his, before turning the piece of paper upside down.

"Maggie draws aunt C.C." she read and the sadness in her eyes was gut-wrenching. "Might as well hang on to this…" He heard her mumble, understanding everything she didn't voice either.

"It could still happen," he squeezed her hand, secretly relishing in the contact.

But she shrugged him off as easily as the memory and focused instead on rummaging through the remainders of the box.

"All done!" she finally announced after a while and he rose to his feet alongside her.

"When are you leaving?" he asked, scooping up some of her belongings and carrying them towards the door.

"Friday," she replied, following suit.

"Let me drive you to the airport at least?"

She remained silent for a long time but he didn't dare ask again, hoping that she was considering his proposal. It was only when they had loaded the last of her things into her car, that she stopped him.

"If it'll make you feel better." She nodded, before disappearing into the vehicle and driving out of sight.


End file.
